Summer Amusement

I HAVE SO FAR received two U.S. Census “Notice of Visit” forms stuck in my screen-door. (Which, incidentally, means that a Census worker has had to open the storm door, essentially unlawful entry, although, since the door isn’t locked (though it could be), that might be a stretch were I to attempt to file a criminal complaint.)

Since we mailed in the form and provided the constitutional information — number of occupants to the dwelling — along with the bonus voluntary information that both occupants are of “American” racial / national / ethnic / species origin, we feel quite in the clear to have some fun with the nosey-parkers should they finally make contact.

Please note that we will NOT be calling ASAP, no matter WHAT color of ink they use to fill out their silly little (insultingly bilingual) form.

First: we have already provided the Census with all of the information they are constitutionally permitted to take — i.e., and actual enumeration of the persons dwelling herein.

Second: further attempts to augment that information amount to a violation of our constitutionally-protected Right to Privacy. Eh? There isn’t one? Better inform the Supreme Court then, because said august body based its decision in Roe v Wade on it.

(Yeah, I believe that Roe v Wade is bad conlaw, but that doesn’t mean the Right to Privacy doesn’t exist.)

Third: said attempt amounts to a conspiracy to deny me of the free exercise of said constitutionally-protected right.

Fourth: that said conspiracy is being undertaken under the color of law, and as such, is in violation of 18USC242. (Q.V.)

Fifth: get off my porch!

Wonder how long they’ll keep trying before they give up.

Update: Attempt number three Sunday evening. Since they don’t time-stamp their attempts, I have no idea when this one was made, but I sure didn’t hear any knocking at the door. Wonder if this guy/gal is even trying.

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