It Just Works—My Ass

OR: “IT JUST WORKS my ass.”

As I announced yesterday, I went with the iPhone. Like all such decisions, there’s good and bad come of it.

Following the setup instructions, I plugged it in and fired up iTunes. I had my trepidations, which turned out to be justified, albeit not for my reasons.

Oh, life never allows your pessimism to be fulfilled as you imagine it will. Where would the fun be in that? No. While I was concerned that Apple would try to take over my life and lock up all my original work out of some mistaken notion of piracy, simply because none of it carries DRM code. But no. Apple tried to take over my life because it’s an arrogant, paternalistic — I dare say “leftist” — company whose self-satisfied, elitist executives think they know better than I how I should run my life and organized my files on my computing devices. I’ve always thought that about Apple, and whereas the various companies that made up the Wintel cartel might have been different species of arrogant bastards, at least their methods tended to leave users alone in freedom to enjoy their devices as they see fit.

But I’m far too familiar with Apple’s products to swallow the “it just works” wheeze. Murphy is too equal-opportunity to allow that to pass.

So I plugged the iPhone into the computer via the handy-dandy (proprietary) USB connector. It said, “We’re gonna download an iOS update, Boss. It’ll take 25 minutes.” Cool, thinks I. I’ll go take a nap. Apparently, it took nowhere near that to dl the OS update. And then it attempted to fire up iTunes.

Which promptly froze. Version required: two dot releases more recent than what I had installed. Of course. I probably should have seen that coming, but you’d also think that the genii in Cupertino could anticipate it. (BTW, how much longer is Apple going to be in Cupertino? Recent news of a shift to Tejas makes me wonder if they’re just one more in the long line of objects lessons about leftist politicians, the innumeracy of the bureaucracy, and the original sin of the nanny state, and how you really do have a use for all that math they tried to pound into your thick skull-full-of-mush in high school.)

Obama: we have a math problem. The man was born without an elbow. He’s got an irony bone in place of his humerus.

Thursday night was not pleasant around here. It never is when you’re fighting with new tech.

But eventually, things got sorted. And, while I haven’t yet made a single phone call (I have sent a text message and about five emails, though, so that’s something.), things progress.

It’s bedtime, now. But in the morning, I have some comments about photography and why optics are more important than megapixels. I think.

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