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SEEM TO HUNGER FOR the cheap theatrics, to make the empty, feel-good gesture. To commemorate the Black Tuesday attrocities, apparently, U2 lead singer, Bono has taken to calling himself an American. Sorry, Paul*, but ah don’ theen so.

First thing Americans are is loyal to our friends. At least, until somebody elects us to Federal office. Then it becomes a craps shoot. But out here in flyover country, where we is stone immaculate, We the Little People don’t stab our friends in the back, the way you did all of your stagehands and tour personnel when a tour promoter dragged enough dollar bills in front of you. A little like James Carville said about Paula Jones — drag a big enough bill down the Dublin waterfront and some muso will stab his friends in the back for it.

And another thing Americans do is commit to being American. Like your former Irish stage manager did when you unceremoniously dumped him on the street. He came to America, got a green card, and went through the immigration process, worked his ass off (for an American band) and BECAME A CITIZEN. Not an illegal alien (apologies to Phil Collins), not an undocumented Substitute Host (apologies to Mark Steyn), but a real, bona fide CITIZEN.

I’d imagine that, since Ireland stopped with the “artists pay no taxes” BS, your Irish citizenship is probably a bit less attractive to you anyway. Oh.Wait! Wasn’t there a protest about that here recently?

Yeah. We gripe about our taxes, sure. But we PAY them (except for see the item above about Federal office and see also Tax Cheat Timmy Geithner).

*That’s Bono’s Christian name, doncha know — Paul Hewson.

(Hat tip: Instapundit)

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