Monthly Archives: April 2011

That’ll Raise a Welt

VISCOUNT MONCKTON OF BRENCHLEY does, as they say, the math.

Of course, that’s old news, if you want to grant that having a long-established case against the left is less valuable than having recently discovered their crimes. We’ve known all along that instruments can’t detect the delta the warmistas claim, that all the money in the world couldn’t reverse the trend, which human activity has less than one millionth part in — at worst — and the so-called catastrophe is no such thing anyway.

But, as always, it’s nice to have a handy pocket reference to the facts nonetheless.

From the Outside, It

MUST LOOK AS THOUGH the writer just gets on a roll and uncorks a good one, knocking it out of the park. Not so. It’s more as though the Good Stuff is always there. It flows like a mighty Amazon of golden ale or mead, and you only need to dip a bucket into it to quaff your fill.

Trouble is in wielding that damned bucket. Most of the time, there’s a hole in it. Or you’re standing in it and your foot’s stuck. Or the handle’s broke. Or there’s somebody else standing between you and the river. Sometimes, he’s even pissing in the river.

But every once in awhile, you have the label rightside-out and you get some wood on the ball. But you’re in the shower. Or on your back under the car. Or stuck in traffic.

Sometimes, it’s amazing that anything decent ever gets written at all. Mostly, it’s just pure, dumb luck that readers get more than merely competent wordsmithing — putting more-or-less appropriate words, one after the other, until you get to the end.

Mark Steyn, On Rush’s

SHOW FRIDAY WENT OFF ON THE birthers. I suspect he misses the point. Or, at least, my point.

Although the most recent submission in the contretemps stinks to high heaven, I’m not certain it matters. The damage to the constitutional order was done when Obama’s juggernaut ride toward his immaculation wasn’t braked to a screeching halt and affirmative proof of his citizen demanded, submitted, and vetted. And, I suppose, that’s what happens when constitutional questions fall into the hands of the likes of the Clintons and become political dirty tricks. It really shouldn’t matter if the question is raised by anyone with “standing” or whether the issue even comes up, let alone who it’s raised by. It should be an ironclad requirement that, before you ever run for the office, you have affirmatively satisfied the People — all the people — that you are definitely qualified for the office.

And, if being unqualified, a man (or woman) is allowed to come to occupy the office, not only should he or she be prosecuted and punished for the crime, but all of the electors and representatives of the People who permitted the travesty to eventuate should suffer as accomplices.

And all of his acts while in office should be mooted.

It is far too easy for politicians to get away with crimes against the People.

THAT is the issue we’re about. Or, at any rate, I am.

Horses Laugh When

VALERIE JARRETT asserts that “Nobody will debate [Obama’s] intelligence…”

::raises hand diffidently::

I will.

The man is a moron. Not an articulate, intelligent man, but a glib and clever moron, a trained seal, barking out by rote the pat shibboleths his teachers drummed into his thick skull-full-of-mush. My evidence? Do I really need to repeat it? He espouses the stupidest, most evil political ideology known to the mind of Man. The two — collectivism and intelligence — are mutually exclusive.

Plus: take him off teleprompter. Take away his script and he goes all hem and haw. Not only that, but he’s not even bright enough to halfway memorize the script well enough to fake it. He is an empty vessel into which others pour words. This is not a bright, articulate man, but a trained monkey. And a poorly-trained monkey at that.

All of which makes me want to question Ms Jarrett’s competence as well.

Cross-posted at Eternity Road

Now THAT’s Viral

STICKY-NOTE campaign hits grocery stores.

The Birth Certificate Probably Isn’t

A FAKE (but way to keep that controversy alive, guys!), but still and all, doesn’t it say something that SOMEbody couldn’t resist putting lipstick on that pig?

Actually, I suspect the purpose of the delay was to defuse the issue for the long run. Obama’s established a precedent — you don’t have to prove your citizenship status to the People to run; you only have to satisfy the political establishment that it’s a no-win proposition to challenge you on the issue.

Next step is to moot the issue of citizenship altogether.

Anyone have an over-under for how many election cycles it will be before we elect an openly noncitizen without having amended the Constitution?

Also posted at Eternity Road

Best Line of the Day

I’LL GIVE YA fifteen reasons — and one in the chamber!

Make it go viral.

Fighting for Life

FROM THE HELLUVA A WAY to spent Easter weekend department, Toni’s best friend, Shawn, is in hospital, fighting for her life. We ask your prayers and good wishes.

Update — Monday morning: We lost this one. All gratitude for your try, but Shawn passed away overnight.

Robot Call Incoming

EQUALS INSTANT hangup. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Maybe someday they’ll learn: if you want to talk to me, talk to me. Don’t send your robot minions.

What is PETA Worth?

FRANK JAMES, from an informed perspective, points out the negative externalities of certain leftist fetishes — to whit, the witless notion of — scorn quotes — “animal rights.”

Used to be that humans, perhaps less urbanized and sophisticated, realized in a rough-and-ready fashion that our status at the top of the food chain demanded a certain amount of compassion and humane treatment from us toward animals — particularly domestic animals. Then along came this particularly odious species of moaner, the “animal rights” activist. (Who never manage to explain how animals can have rights when they are incapable of comprehending, let alone fulfilling, the nature of a social compact — from which rights descend.)

But waitaminnit, Alger! They say — you’ve said many times that rights exist in a state of nature. You have a right to life, frex…

Correct. And the right to defend it, as does every animal. But where does it say that, under the state, animals have the right to much more than life, and the legitimate expectation that the state will enforce and protect those rights — to the detriment of human citizens of said state?



And therein lies the nub. And, without getting involved in a long disquisition of the nature Our Curmudgeon manages to unreel at semi-regular intervals, the point here is that PETA, and other, similar — scorn quotes — “humane” organizations are mis- (or perhaps) mal-focused. And, since senior organizations, such as the venerable SPCA, are not, one must assume that PETA et al were deliberately formed, not to encourage and enable the humane treatment of animals so much, as to monkey with human society — to the detriment of its current configuration.

If you’re concerned about humanity toward animals, there are plenty of other, worthy, less-radical organizations around, starting with the old stalwart Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. But, unless national action is your passion, there are probably myriad smaller, more-local organizations more deserving of your attention. Plus, the bonus of local action is that you can get to know the actual activists and take their measure. We here in Cincinnati have many, such as Save Our Strays, The Scratching Post, Recycled Doggies, and Toni can probably list seveal handfuls more. They’re always overworked and underfunded. Next time you go to the vet, I’ll bet they have signs and collection boxes up for some of their favorites.

Don’t support big, international, socialist wack jobs when you have locals actually doing good works (instead of being media whores) much more in need of your support.

Here’s One Off the Wall

IF YOU REALLY WANT universal prosperity, (and absolutely insist on having an income tax in the first place), what you should do is turn the tax brackets upside down. Put the highest percentage taxes on the LOWEST earners. Each time you go up a bracket in income, your tax percentage bite gets smaller. The absolute figure grows, of course, but the percentage goes down.

Then stand back. People’ll be getting rich so fast it’s not funny.

And even those too lazy to try will benefit, because — as JFK said — a rising tide lifts all boats.


HOW PEOPLE MANAGE to fool themselves into believing that enslaving one human being to the convenience of another is compassionate. Or even wise.

It doesn’t really matter whether the horror stories of single-payer medical systems are apocryphal or canonical. It doesn’t. Really. The problems with the notion go back a good deal farther, and are a whole lot more fundamental than the inevitable abuses of a state bureaucracy.

The entire concept is morally bankrupt. And if you can’t see it, you really need to re-examine your premises.

Or do you believe that slavery is OK?

Today Is My Birthday

WELL, NO… NOT REALLY it’s this blog’s birthday. Nine Years ago today, on BlogSpot, this blog debutted. These were the first day’s posts:

OK … I missed something, here. Where’d it go?
:: Mark Alger 2:13 PM [+] ::

I’m sure every blog startup in the history of the Universe has shown the earmarks of a confused blogger at the keyboard.
:: Mark Alger 2:14 PM [+] ::

Down to business. It’s a rainy Sunday afternoon in Cincinnati and I have finally ginned up the courage or whatever to get this started. I’ve been thinking about it–doing a blog–for a long time. I’ve been thinking of keeping a journal for longer and have never somehow gotten around to it.

So–you say–f***ing what?

Good question. I’m a writer. I AM a writer. That is, all my life, whenever somebody’s asked me, “What are you?” I’ve answered — if only to myself — I’m a writer. It’s my self-image. And, like many writers, I’ve searched forever for ways of organizing my thoughts external to myself. I’ve gone the spiral-bound stenopad route. I’ve gone the excrutiatingly precious blank book route. And now, in the digital age, I’m trying various electronic storage methods.

And isn’t he just too f***ing serious? Sorry. I’m going to go eat lunch.

:: Mark Alger 2:46 PM [+] ::

WHAT IS THIS THING? An interesting — I hope — log of a journey of discovery going on in parallel with the writing of a novel.


WHAT IS A BABY TROLL? A Baby Troll is Dolly and Dolly is the Baby Troll.

OK, WISEASS! WHO IS DOLLY? Thought you’d never ask. Dolly is Gabrielle Dolly — the central character of my magnum opus. She is a a created being, born of the accidental casting of a soul into a plastic Gabrielle Dolly — an action figure, a merchandising tie-in to Xena: Warrior Princess, a Barbie-Doll-like toy. Like Pinocchio, she quickly conceives the desire to become a Real Grrl.

Dolly’s story started out as fan fiction. It quickly became apparent to me that–if I were up to it–she could entertain a wider audience than the few hundred or thousand who read her stories on the Xenaverse. So, a little while ago — too long, it sometimes seems — I started out on the weird odyssey of bringing Dolly to a wider audience.

I’m an impatient sort. I want so badly to publish something every day. But, of course, Dolly’s stories don’t come complete or fit for public consumption that quickly. The current one, called Geppetto’s Log, has been in the works in one form or another for over a year, now, and even the plot is only three-quarters done. [And, now, nine years later, it’s little further done. — MA]

So the blog. What I intend to post — right now: obviously subject to change — are the little nuggets I discover along the way: bits of wisdom or fascinating knowledge, the little raindrops of inspiration that don’t seem to fit, the exciting fragments and bits of the story that come out of sequence or subject to extensive change. It is my hope that this will aid my mental processes, but also that it will entertain and — perhaps — delight.

And who knows? Maybe, having been exposed to Dolly this way, you may some day be moved to buy a story about her. ::evil grin::

:: Mark Alger 3:39 PM [+] ::

So, Last Night, The Amtrak Cardinal

FROM CHICAGO TO Cincinnati ran roughly 3 hours late.

In planning to go pick Toni up at Union Terminal, I was watching the ontime updates at Amtrak’s site, so knew not to go down there until ONE hour late. But. Dayum. Sat in a VERY uncomfortable waiting room for two hours, listening to everybody gripe, and chuckling at the occasional update announcements from the dispatcher.

Weather. There have been major thunderstorms and maybe some tornados all across the Midwest. Played havoc with signals.

Why? In this day and age… Is not signalling technology… Hardened against EM interference and power outages?

And Obama wants to run 200MPH Tres Grand Vitesse over this system?

Pull the other’n. It’s got bells on.

To My Granddaughters

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… the official unofficial voice of Gabrielle Dolly.

What do you see when you see me?
You see my long blonde hair and the particular way
That my lips are shaped
That my body takes when you talk to me
What do you know when you know me?
Don’t file me under categories, you’re deceived
You don’t know me
I’m not only a surface, a country
What you don’t know about me is, I’m a

Double agent on my mama’s side
The shit I hear you say just blows my mind
Every time, recognize
Though who I am to you is not a lie
I don’t have to volunteer and say
That I was born a particular way
I got no uniform
I’m camouflaged in any light
Obviously you can’t tell
I’m a double agent on my mama’s side

And what do you hear when you hear me?
I hear you crank up Jay-Z, it’s your favorite jam
And you talk with your hands like an MC
Betcha never get stopped by the police
You never ask me about me (no no no)
About how I feel when you call all your white friends
“Homeboy” and “nigga” and “homie”
Oh, please
It hurts me
And you don’t see

What you don’t know about me is
“I told you everybody’s got a story”
I’m a

Double agent on my mama’s side
The shit I hear you say just blows my mind
Every time, recognize
Though who I am to you is not a lie
I don’t have to volunteer and say
That I was born a particular way
I got no uniform
I’m camouflaged in any light
Obviously you can’t tell
I’m a double agent on my mama’s side

I am invisible (I am)
Am I responsible (I am)
I’m in between it all
Who is the enemy?
I am part of no plan
My honesty is contraband
My blood is thicker than any mans

What do you like when you like me? (Don’t you like me?)
I am ingredients far beyond flour and molecules
Calluses, family jewels
I’m no fool
We went to the same school
Some of your best friends are just like me
But when they’re not around you make jokes and conspire
The fire gets higher and I feel the heat
Rising underneath
Who is more deceived?
What you don’t know about me is, I’m a

Double agent on my mama’s side
The shit I hear you say just blows my mind
Every time, recognize
Though who I am to you is not a lie
I don’t have to volunteer and say
That I was born a particular way
I got no uniform
I’m camouflaged in any light
Obviously you can’t tell
I’m a double agent on my mama’s side

An Addendum To All Argument

FROM A GEMINII who doesn’t believe in astrology.

Leave me be
I don’t want to argue
I’d just get confused
And I’d come all undone
If I agree, well
It’s just to appease you
Cause I don’t remember
What we’re fighting for

–Sarah McLachlan, “Time”

Idiot Liberals

THE GRADUATED INCOME TAX — hell, any income tax was anathema to the Founders, and for damned good reason. It’s invidious. The enforcement is, of necessity, invasive. Intrusive. Vitiating of privacy. Of liberty. All of these things were, as usual with leftist nostrums, known before the 16th Amendement was passed.

In the dark of night.

With a bare quorum of extreme partisans in Congress. With parliamentary tricks in state assemblies. With lies as to its extent and effects. With a camel’s nose under the tent that’s grown and grown until we’re faced with the spectre of ONE. SINGLE. TAX. Eating up twenty percent of the Gross Domestic Product and nobody seems to be able to do a damned thing about it!

With a full-court press of court-packing to prevent any attempt, with mad-dog mau-mau abuse-of-power out-and-out violations of Holy Writ in defense against all attempts to turn back its manfiestly evil effects, its corrosive acid etching away at the solidarity of the body politic.

Legions of citizen legislators march to Washington to slay this dragon, and yet it refuses to die. Hordes of citizens in the wasteland that was the most prosperous nation in the history of history struggle to stand, like so many fallen caryatids under the unbearable burden of this tax, rise in timid, diffident protest, only to be slandered by the soi-disant ruling class as tea-baggers and greedy and worse.

Hear me! The income tax is the creature of evil! It is a a myrmidon of darkness. You only need know that so ill a being as Karl Marx urged it on the world to know its true nature! To resist its imposition is the veriest heart of patriotism.

To pay, to defend this odious tax is not patriotic! It is … un-American!

Cross-posted at Eternity Road

What He Said

OL’ RAGIN’ has a few mots bon for his neighbors.

And yours. And mine.

We’re at war, dammit. WAKE UP! Do not expect the left to treat you decently, because they will not! Do not expect the left to act rationally, because THEY WILL NOT! Do not expect the left to act with compassion, because THEY WILL NOT!

Quote of the Day


Armed people are free. No state can control those who have the machinery and the will to resist, no mob can take their liberty and property. And no 220-pound thug can threaten the well-being or dignity of a 110-pound woman who has two pounds of iron to even things out … People who object to weapons aren’t abolishing violence, they’re begging for rule by brute force, when the biggest, strongest animals among men were always automatically right. Guns ended that, and a social democracy is a hollow farce without an armed populace to make it work.

– L. Neil Smith

–Spotted at Borepatch

Quote of the Day

I carry because I am empowered with not just the right, but the duty to take care of myself.


Pilate Asked, “What is Truth?”

AND STAYED NOT for an answer.

Obama asks, “Do you think we’re stupid?” And I’m not sure he wants the answer.

Um… yes…?

Well, of course, Dolly. But why do we think that?

Um… Because they espouse the failed doctrines of collectivism — by body count alone the greatest evil ever encompassed by the mind of man?

Right in one. And a gold star for the prize student.

Look: The TSA Is Unconstitutional

CONGRESSS DOESN’T HAVE the authority to bypass the Fourth Amendment without further amending the Constitution. And the kinds of intrusions and outrages being practiced on travelers to make them mouth off at the inspectors are precisely the kinds of intrusions and outrages the Framers had in mind when writing our founding documents. If the TSA screeners don’t like the complaints, they should look for other employment.

Robert Heinlein wrote, “Beware of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors — and miss.” There’s a whole treatise on liberty and the overweening state in that — well — heinleined tutorial. Free men have the right to resist the importunings of the state with lethal force. But, as Machiavelli warns, if you strike at the king (or the king’s man), be sure you kill him. Do not leave a wounded enemy in your rear. But also remember that the state has bigger guns and more of them, and is not afraid to abuse its power — especially not in these latter days of the waning so-called “Progresssive” movement, where, when desperation must, force majeur drives.

No, as I’ve said before, you will never bring the TSA to heel until you bring the airline industry to its knees. Indeed, that may be the intent.

Funny, Innit

HOW LIBERALISM did more damage to Detroit than did the emergency shutdown of an atomic reactor.

You’d think there’d be all sorts of cautionary tales in that, woon’t ya?

People Say You Can’t—or Shouldn’t

ASCRIBE MOTIVES without evidence. But… Don’t we have sufficient empirical evidence, now, that, when leftists promulgate falsehoods that fly in the face of evidence, scholarship, and common sense, they are intentionally lying?

The Other World Goes Away

IN ONE WALL OF the room downstairs is a window. It’s covered by a shade most of the time. But every once in awhile, the shade will roll up and the window be lifted, and the cats can lie crouched in the air on carpeted stairs and watch the other world — the one they’ll never get to be in.

And then, when the dishes are done, the coffeepot set for the morning, the lights are turned down low and the window closes, the shade goes down, and the other world goes away for the night.

And the cats settle down to sleep.

Is Ed Markey a Liar or Stupid

OR BOTH? He claims Republicans want to repeal the authority of the FCC to regulate the Internet. He claims that Republicans want to repeal the authority of the EPA to regulate greenhouse gasses.

Sorry. Must have water in my ear. Did I hear Markey urge that Congress violate the First Amendment? Did I hear Markey urge that Congress ignore Executive infringement on congressional authority?

Just wondering.

George Soros Plays “If I Were King

OF THE WORLD…” fer reelzies, and … did you hear about it on the teewee news?

And they say the Koch brothers are dangerous. Stwealthy.

Planned Parenthood

LEMME GET THIS STRAIGHT: over the course of a year, a veritable holocaust of the unborn takes place in their facilities, that 60% of black pregnancies in this country are terminated in abortions, and the fact that it’s — scorn quotes — “only” some tiny percentage of their total activities is adduced as an excuse? Like that matters? Oh, it’s OK that you’re a genocidal mass murderer, because it’s such a small, tiny — infinitesimal, even — part of your total activities?

You can argue over when we legally recognize the personhood of an individual. But you ARE artificially terminating a human life, whether it’s legally a citizen or not. That’s horrific, whether it’s point-one percent or ninety-nine-point-one percent of the whole. If you can’t face that, maybe you need to re-examine your premises.

It Was Fifteen Years Ago Today

OK, WELL… YESTERDAY that Chaz went on the air.

It is another age in Internet years. I had made my first Web site — for the Patch Factory — and had already changed my favorite browser from Mosaic to Netscape to Internet Explorer and back to Netscape again. On CompuServe, we were lamenting the webbification of everything, (What use mad leet skilz with Archie and Mehitabel — er, Veronica — in a world where all resources were available at the end of an http: string?) and pining for an era already lost. AOL had bought the place and sponsors were pulling out of fora and heading for www at an all-time record pace.

The word weblog hadn’t yet been coined, but already people were talking about personal Web sites. Me, I wondered, “What would I have to say every day?” I couldn’t imagine that anybody would need more than a handful of static pages to encapsulate their life.


Happy bloggiversary, Chaz. May there be many more, and may they all be blessed.

Trading Places

JEFF G has a pretty fair idea. And this should be shot directly to the office of Barbara Mikulsky. She’s so concerned that the shutdown would shutter the NIH, perhaps she could be persuaded to donate her salary for the interim to several lab monkeys working on the cure for cancer. Or Alzheimer’s. Or diverticulitis. Certainly more valuable to the Republic than the services of a Congressman.

SInce I Was in the Hospital

WHEN THIS BABY HIT I’m late to the party. But I gotta add to the applause. Whooo-eee! That gonna leave a mark!

Doesn’t this insistence on “respect” for the Koran border on idolatry?

Does This Qualify As A

STUPID QUESTION? — from Megan McArdle (whom I liked a lot better as Jane Galt) …

Do We Really Need to Raise Taxes to Close the Deficit?

Even before reading the article — which one presumes answers the question in the negative — one has to wonder: how little attention does one have to have paid to this subject not to know that there is no way on God’s paisley earth that we can ever close the deficit with taxes? All you have to do is realize that, if we taxed all of the wealth and income of every single human being in this country, it would JUST barely cover the budget for one year. And, of course, when you do that, it’s over. There won’t be a next year.

This is known to thinking people as a reductio ad infinitum — taking the concept to the limit. Of course, when the Left does it, it’s a reductio ad absurdam, Latin for “Don’t make me laugh.”

As it turns out, once I read the article, McArdle manages to surprise with another gleaming bon mot of stupidity.

Democrats have been hoping that some way, somehow, they were going to get to close the budget deficit with nothing beyond symbolic tinkering with entitlements, and maybe some deep defense cuts. The Ryan plan is basically attempting to flush Democrats into the open: force them to embrace the fairly massive tax hikes that would be necessary to achieve even medium-term balance.

But I don’t think that it’s correct that Democrats simply need to outline their own spending cuts. First, it would be equally true to say that the GOP simply needs to start outlining its preferred tax hikes, except for the fact that they really don’t want to. Obviously the budget problems get a lot easier to solve if we assume that one side simply capitulates to the other side’s demands, but this is not a very helpful starting assumption.

Fuck helpful. Fuck compromise. Fuck everybody gets a piece of the action. Fuck go-along-to-get-along. The Democrats are wrong. They have been wrong at the top of their lungs for over a hundred years. They have put the country into this shithole. The whole country knows it. The Democrats and their master/myrmidons in the unions and the chattering classes have resisted all attempts to inject sense into the discussion. They have poo-pooed all forewarnings and foreknowledge of their bitter, dismal failures at every turn. They have refused to accept the verdict of history, of elections, of law. They have lied, cheated, stolen, murdered, and committed treason to get their way.

Get this: fuck that. They can go to Hell for all we’re concerned. If the Democrats to not want to capitulate to common sense, the law, and fair play, then we’ll just simply. Fucking. Steamroller them.

Pro Tip of the Day

WHEN YOU GO ON TALK RADIO and, at the same time as talking up corporate taxes needing to be increased, you go, “What about the ordinary guy?” you need to lay off the hallucinogens.

Because, y’see, when you tax corporations, IT IS THE ORDINARY GUY WHO PAYS THE TAXES!

How STUPID do you think we are?

The Big O Says

AT A TIME WHEN you’re struggling to pay your bills and…” I wish I could say, “Stop right there.” ‘Cause he goes on to utter some pretty basic inanities about “The least we can do…” Which is actually, come to think of it, a lot more than just inane, it’s downright fucking STUPID! The LEAST they (the government) can do is get the hell off our backs!

Jeeze! At a time when I have to make budgetary choices between buying medicines and paying taxes, I’m really fucking boo-hoo-hoo over the probability that “non-essential” government employees (why do they even exist?) might get a vacation day or six.

Shut it down. Shut it all down. Defund it, send ’em home, tell ’em to get a real job. Start at the top.

You know, when a private business is in trouble, the owners and the executives take a cut in pay. The owners of the patch factory haven’t taken a salary in I’m afraid to ask how long. That’s what you do. What’s Obama done? Bought one less head of arugula at the Whole Foods? Gimme a fucking break.

You know, it’s probably a good thing these schmucks have all these battalions of flack and flappers around them to tell them lies about how pretty they are. If — God forbid — any one of them ever heard a dose of unbuffered truth, they’d shit themselves from the damage to their self-esteem.

Quote of the Day

Based on our analyses, we concluded that the global warming alarm is an anti-scientific political movement.

J. Scott Armstrong, Kesten C. Green, and Willie Soon
Writing at the Heartland Institute

Spotted at Maggie’s Farm

<leroyjethrogibbs>Ya THINK?</leroyjethrogibbs>

The Sarah Doctrine

YOU COULD FILE off the serial numbers and call this the Dolly Doctrine. A good example would be when Dolly wails on Cally’s dickweed boyfriend in A Doll’s Odyssey. However, Mrs. Hoyt beat me to it.

So, Monday Morning

I’M SITTING AT MY DESK and the phone rings. I’m the only one in of a phone answering rank, so I pick it up. “Good Morning, The Patch Factory,”
I say in my best rumble.

“Please hold…” goes the robot voice.

I didn’t wait to hear who they were asking us to please hold for. I hung up.

Couple of minutes later, the phone rings again. “Good morning, The Patch Factory,” I rumble.


Damned robot hung up on ME!

Furschlugginer things are getting frisky!

Can’t have anything to do with the fact that, an hour or two later, I was thinking I might be having a heart attack and spent Monday night and most of Tuesday in the hospital. (False alarm, but still…)

Look What You Made Me Do

ANOTHER FINE RANT from the Old Grouch.

Perhaps, if Glenn Beck is experiencing a diminution of his ratings, he ought to consider that he’s slagging off the ideals and principles of his audience and he ought to stop it.

The Story Originally Started Out

TO BE A SERIES of vignettes, Drummond and Dolly conversing as they made their daily commute up Interstate 71 between Cincinnati and Columbus. The posts in the CFXS mailing list archives will bear the subject “Interstate 71” and you’ll find them at about this time or a bit earlier in 1999. Of course, the names have been changed to protect the innocent… now.

And the story is now called Double Switch, at the suggestion of my friend and sometime collaborator, Trish Shields. I forget now why we called it that, but it made sense at the time, and the name has sort-of stuck.

All of the usual disclaimers — this is trunk fiction in first draft, never meant to be coherent or any of that, just written for fun, and meant to be enjoyed in that light. Nothing serious.

Also, please remember that the divisions between the stories of the Apocrypha are pretty much arbitrary. “Double Switch seques into Sinfonia de la Inamorata, which in turn is followed up by The Moose Jaw Incident and so-on up to A Doll’s Odyssey. It’s all one long story, some approximately 300,000 words. No discipline whatsoever.

Nevertheless, I think you might begin to see in this story some glimmers of what it was that persuaded me it would be worthwhile to try to pursue pro publication for better-written stories about Dolly and Drummond.

Speaking of Earworms

THIS HAS BEEN RUNNING through my head all afternoon. To my baby sister, who’s been stuck inside of Boise with the Sandpoint blues again.

Let This Meme Soar

ON THE WINGS OF EAGLES… Let the government shut down. It would have to be an improvement over having the government in operation.

If the Democrats don’t like $30B in cuts? Fine! Send ’em a bill for $60B. Don’t want us to de-fund Planned Parenthood? Fine! Defund HHS.




Not That I’m Complaining, Because

I LOVE THE THINGS — they call it the Warthog, but it looks to me like beauty personified, form following function. But I’m hearing talk of A-10’s in the news and wondering… I thought they’d retired the things. Not that it’s bad that they didn’t, but… You can understand my confusion.

Obama’s Labya

CAN NO ONE MUSTER the gumption to say it? It’s a war. No significant congressional input. No national interest.

Surely I can’t be the only one thinking it…

Wag the Dog